Today, in case you hate fun and intelligent conversation, Andrew King, our resident prosecutor at Fault Lines, wrote a post defending the freedom of speech of both Milo Yiannopolous and the NJ Weedman. It was one of those times King wrote something I didn’t want to excessively drink over, throw something, or punch him regarding. He was right, and the post merits a good read. What I took issue with was him calling the league of us Internet super villains the “Legion of Doom.” Specifically, because he referred to Milo as “Lex Luther.” With hair no less.
Now I’m a DC neophyte, and I remember a timeline where Luthor (not “Luther”) had hair. But I remembered a bit where the author of that storyline declared it non-cannon. I called King out on his shit, and it turns out I have to give him at least some credit. He knows his comic book references. This time I was in the right. I was sure of it. And I needed a third party neutral to prove me right. So I pooled my resources and got a comics shop owner who is a DC comics guru to issue a ruling. The response was so classic it didn’t merit a Twitter response. I had to share it here. The owner didn’t just settle the debate, he did so in legalese form that was so hysterical it merited a blog post.
“Plaintiff Seaton wishes to prove the Alexander Luthor storyline non-cannon in the DC universe. In doing so, Plaintiff fails to describe an accurate description of the word “cannon,” as DC has fucked themselves with cannon regularly. See “New 52,” and “Flashpoint.” However, the Dollar Comics Universe regularly fucks itself in the ass with canonical resets and erasures. See “Hush,” for an example.”
“Defendant King wishes to prove the Alexander Luthor story is cannon. Technically, the New 52 and Flashpoint erases Defendant King’s argument since they render the Alexander Luthor story invalid. Plaintiff Seaton has the better argument here, but I cannot ignore the will of the writers or the company when making this ruling.”
“Accordingly, the holding of this “judge,” (which I find hysterical, by the way), is that Plaintiff Seaton has failed to meet his standard of proof the Alexander Luthor storyline, buttressed by decades of DC cannon and only erased by stupid corporate moves, is not cannon. Therefore, Defendant King wins, and the Internet Supervillain group called “The Legion of Doom” involving Milo Yiannopolous (who’s done more for free speech than most Americans) may be called as such. This is remanded to both assholes for work consistent with my findings. And the next time King and Seaton engage me in this I’m charging a consulting fee.”
So I publicly apologize to Andrew King for not getting comic book cannon right. I was wrong. I will admit it. And you need to read Fault Lines to get any sort of understanding of why this debate is so important.