I’m leaving Facebook behind because it’s a place full of navel-gazing bullshit. Facebook doesn’t allow you to communicate with the world. Facebook is a place where people go for validation, self-recognition, cat pictures, George Takei’s average gem, and ads. Facebook doesn’t allow for Mediation is Dead, so I’m rarely there anymore.
Real life, conversely, doesn’t give a damn about you. Real life means that you have to learn to communicate with others. Real life means that you listen to those with whom you disagree, no matter how uncomfortable the conversation. That’s where I need to head, and when I get back to that spot where I’m in real life, working with others, then I gain greater focus, clarity, and an understanding of what this world is really about: being able to communicate again with others and get your message across in an effective manner.
Do you know the algorithm behind Facebook? It’s tailored to make sure you have a strong confirmation bias in your life. It’s there to make sure Facebook is your “safe space,” because Facebook wants you to be there all the time, 24/7, checking in for everything you want to see, rather than the uncomfortable truth. If you’re on Facebook you’re constantly seeing what you want to see. You’re seeing what those around you want to see. It’s not reality, but if you’re living life on Facebook then you’re not living real life. You’re living a fiction you want to live.
Take your quizzes. Take your cat pictures. Take your memes, and get them the fuck out of my life. I don’t get a damn thing done with Facebook. I just get to a point where I’m deep in a rabbit hole of pandering bullshit. I’m arguing with people when I don’t need to argue.
I talked with a good friend of mine lately who’s more “conflict free” than I am. He hasn’t checked his Facebook feed in about a year. He’s much happier for it, because he’s living in real life. He’s learned how to communicate with others. He credits a good portion of that to “unplugging” from Facebook.
Another person I know hasn’t been on the site in about a year as well. She’s happier and more together as a whole than most of us could be, because Facebook shows us what we want. She decided that she’d get off Facebook and make her dreams come true, and she managed to do it by staying away from a website that’s a drug.
Real life is hard. Real life doesn’t show you what you want to see. Real life means that you have to face conflict when you see it, and when you get to real life, you have to address it as best you can. Real life will make you grow, change, and be better.
Twitter’s only marginally better. There you have to work to find what you want to see. There you’re exposed to shadow bans, block lists, and people muting what you have to say. But on Twitter you can learn things about people you can’t find anywhere else.
Facebook won’t even give you that. I know this because I see people engaged with Facebook in ways they think is beneficial. It’s not. Once that algorithm starts its magic, you’re done. You have to check in regularly. You never know what you’re going to miss in a person’s life. You get afraid of missing out. There’s other ways to make sure you don’t miss out, but you won’t listen to those ways, because Facebook governs your life. It’s the town crier in the world of the small-minded.
Leave behind the fear of missing out and you’ll get to a “conflict-free” life.
When I leave Facebook, when I turned off the notifications, when I get focused, I get things done that most people can’t. I make sure that I don’t instinctively respond to the “(x) commented on your post” responses. I write. I research. I read. And yet people think that Facebook is a good way to keep in touch with your “friends?” It’s done nothing but plan and set up your entire day from moment one.
Leave that stupid site behind and get into real life. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the notion that the “town crier” consisting of virtual picket fences where people talk amongst themselves is anything but a place where people can’t learn anything other than what they want to learn and see what they want to see.
The best approach, the “wrongless approach” is to make sure that you don’t let social media use you. You make sure that when you use social media, you’re doing it for a strategic advantage.
Be conflict-free. Live the MiD life. Embrace real life.