3/16/16 is the Day of the King.
And it came to pass, on a certain day, that a man dubbed Dok Hendrix, who was formerly Michael “P.S.” Hayes, took it upon himself to speak with another man thusly dubbed “King of the Ring” and ask him what to do.
And it came to pass this new King was formerly a man named Stephen Williams, who begat “Stunning” Stephen Austin, who begat Stephen Austin, who begat “The Ringmaster” Stephen Austin, who begat “Stone Cold” Stephen Austin after the scriveners sent multiple names to him including “Chilly McFreeze,”
And it came to pass that he came from humble Texan origins, then traveling to Hollywood, then traveling to Atlanta, then traveling to Philadelphia, then traveling to New York.
And it came to pass he became royalty to the working class after first flirting with the wealth of the DiBiase clan, even claiming the Belt Priced At One Million Dollars as his own.
And it came to pass that he was once a man who begat a series titled “Monday NyQuil,” and begat the Stevester, and begat Mikey Whipwreck’s first win.
And it came to pass that he was once a man who toured a “Brush with Greatness” with his traveling partner, Brian of Pillman.
And it came to pass this new King mastered the Ring before ascendance to its Throne.
And Thusly sayeth the “King of the Ring,” Stephen Austin, that the first actions this new King spaketh were to escort a certain Snake from his fiefdom, as the words spoken by said Snake were displeasing to said King.
“You want to talk your Bible and your John 3:16? Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!”
Thusly from a King was born a Bionic Redneck, a Texas Rattlesnake, and he with whom when the glass broke your rectum area was at stake.
And thusly, massive T-Shirt Sales worldwide.
Blessed are those who celebrate Stone Cold Steve Austin Day with a Steveweiser.